


James Unraveled

by deeinthestars



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Angst, M/M, Yearning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:00:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23615608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deeinthestars/pseuds/deeinthestars
Summary: Unable to hide his feelings for Thomas anymore, James becomes unraveled.
Relationships: Captain Flint | James McGraw/Thomas Hamilton
Kudos: 29





	James Unraveled

James McGraw was very good at pushing down feelings. He was an expert, in fact. From the time he was a little boy, he realized his feelings for the same gender were more than friendly. Over the years, the shame and guilt went away, which was replaced with a realization. A realization that London was not a place where you go to be happy. People sit in their homes, judge what they cannot understand, and ignore everything else that is wrong in the world. The other things, the too important things, those are up to James McGraw and Thomas Hamilton to fix. 

The two men were sitting next to each other at Thomas’s dinner table. Not across, like they were supposed to. This was the second time, but James wasn’t going to say anything. He liked this. It wasn’t an open confession, but some part of his repressed soul had hoped Thomas felt the same way for him, even if the two were too cowardly to say it to each other. He liked knowing his hand was just an inch or two away from his own. He liked knowing that if the urge was too strong, he could tear Thomas out of the wooden dining chair and press him up against the table and kiss him if need be.

James gulped, silently hoping his hands wouldn’t start shaking again. From need, from want, from desire, from fear. From terrible, terrible fear that he was the only one who felt this way. He saw men hung in the middle of the square for even making advances. Even insinuating something.

“Nightcap?”

He gave a nod and a small smile, getting up from the table and pushing his chair in. He strolled into the lounge, taking a seat on the sofa. The fire was perfectly lit, giving small crackles as Thomas handed him a drink. “Thank you.”

Thomas nodded, sitting across from him with his own drink, carefully sloshing the brown liquid from one side to another before taking a long drink. 

“Do you actually think we can succeed in our endeavor?”

James glanced up. “I think if you and I work together, there’s nothing we can’t achieve.” He gave a small smile, knowing he was quoting Thomas word for word. Thomas returned the smile, his eyes lighting up as they usually did when James said something of the like.

“I just.. I just don’t understand,” Thomas went on as a new thought entered his head and his smile fell. “These men… Primarily old men, they don’t want change for England. She could be so prosperous if only she was more forgiving, more kind. But these kinds of men… They don’t care about all that, do they?” He shook his head, grabbing both of their empty glasses, standing up to refill them. 

As he picked up the decanter resting above the fireplace, James could see how the flames, the tiny little embers shone in his eyes. He drew in a breath, trying to stifle the urge down again. It was a constant thing, and it was getting so much harder to do.

It wasn’t just the urge of physical touch, but it was the constant urge to let out an “I love you.” It was the urge to confess what he had been feeling since he had gotten to know him. When he realized he wasn’t just another ambitious young man drunk on the idea of profit from an almost impossible source. When he realized that Thomas was changing him for the better. He was making him a better man. 

James cleared his throat. “No… Of course not.” It was a short answer, not because he didn’t want to be talking with him, but because he just couldn’t tear his eyes away from Thomas, not tonight. Not when they had spent so much time plotting about defying his father regardless of the outcome. Not when they had spent morning till night talking of philosophy, of absolution from sin, about forgiveness. 

The irony was not lost on him.

He realized that Thomas couldn’t look away either, but he looked frozen in place. He couldn’t move. Of course not. Not if he felt the same, which was a very big ‘if.’ James’ eyes trailed down Thomas’s body, finally making their way back up to those beautiful eyes. He was pinned by the fireplace, not having an idea of what to do.

As Thomas looked back at James, he gave a small involuntary whimper. That was all it took for James to unravel.

He rose up from the chair, striding towards Thomas. His eyes once again raked from his eyes to his body. James took the glass from his hands, setting it down on the mantle, their fingers brushing. Thomas went to return his hand from his side, but found it gently stuck to the glass, James’s hand keeping it in place. With their fingers touching, both of the men couldn’t hide their now very obvious feelings. He parted his lips slightly.

When James finally let go, his hands moved to Thomas’s face, grasping his cheeks in both hands, searching his eyes. Eyes that said ‘please.’

He pressed his mouth to Thomas’s, putting one arm around him so that he could lean and fall into his arms. His other hand rummaged through his hair, pulling, expressing how much he fucking wanted him in that moment. How much James wants to belong to each other. How much he never wanted to let go of that moment.


End file.
